That wasn't everything!

Not even close. Dang. Clearly I should do this more.

We read: Packing for Mars, by our fave science writer Mary Roach. She's so funny and makes science (which I hate) interesting and engaging. Love love her. Might love her books NOT about Mars with even more love. The only thing I want to hear about space is David Bowie's "Ground Control to Major Tom" song. Now we're reading Second Shift and one of my figs is going back to school to study sociology and being a women's studies professor. Another is writing about my awesome marriage and being paid money to live my awesome life and write about it. That seems...unlikely. :) But it's a nice fig.

I read: Game of Thrones. I probably HAVE been reading it for 4 1/2 months, haha. Those books are S O   L O N G. Of course I left Dragons at work when I only have 120 pages left. I could've finished this weekend! Curses.

We watched: Orange is the New Black. We actually just finished tonight. We also are watching Masterchef, The Office, etc. We switch back and forth a lot, mostly cos we forget what we watched the night before. We're also watching lots of our childhood movies. We watched The Incredible Journey last weekend. Fuck I love dogs. I want a million billion of them. Newfoundlands & mastiff puppies especially.

Moxie got fleas. We went camping (Moxie swims now!). I organized our entire house. I (almost) wrote blogs comparing the movie Warm Bodies to Twilight and Zombieland & David & me arguing about the word "retarded." And our second shift. And lots of blogs about work. Maybe I should make this my private journal instead. 

Seriously?

I'm just embarrassed at this point. It's been 4 1/2 months! Gah. Now watch as I proceed to catch you up on e v e r y t h i n g that's happened in one blog. Except my battery has 11 minutes left so not that much more time to edit, oops.

Here's a checklist of important things that have happened in my life since April 1st:

1. I started a(nother) new job. I've been working as a mortgage broker loan processor since tax day. Some parts I really like; some I'm not too thrilled with. It depends on the day.
2.  I like my co-worker, Beth. She is hilarious and "shares her feelings" with me, as my ever-patronizing and loving husband would say. I also like having my own office and staring at the picture of Moxie that is my background and pretending I get to hang out with her all day and play with her like stupid DAVID does. (I am incredibly jealous of his stay at home with our psuedo-kiddo job. I know this is not true, but I imagine his work day being broken into several periods of cuddles, plays, and, well, conversations with Moxie. I talk to her always when I get home, sometimes realizing I am having a stream of consciousness talk with/to her while taking her out to do her business. Stop judging me, neighbors with the bee flowers that freak me out.)
3.  I really hate the stress of my life now, one aspect of which is my daily commute through both tunnels during peak traffic hours. I'm trying to think of a solution that will make me like driving, or at least tolerate it. (I hate driving & will hate it, always. Sometimes on very grumpy commute days I think this and the negative thinking makes me grumpier. Slippery slope.)
4. I used to have the best solution! This shouldn't really get its own number but my beautiful ipod was stolen. :( It had a commute playlist with silly bouncy songs on it that cheered me up. I literally think about how much I miss it every day when NPR gets all staticky in the tunnel. I hope you're happy, ipod thief! I hope you see my silly songs marked "commute playlist" and feel really guilty for taking it (and the tin of quarters). Jerk. (But maybe they needed $ from the ipod more than I needed to listen to those particular songs at that particular time. Maybe they aren't mean at all. Poor ipod thief!)
5. I cut my hair. I mean, I can't even remember how many times. Five seems excessive, but not too excessive. (This amuses me to no end. I need to start investing in wigs. I think it might actually save me money at some point.) I hate taking pictures of myself or I'd show you the progression. It went from very long, thick, frizzy, & my natural light boring brown colour to very short, simultaneously poofy & spiky (enigma), and what I perceive to be just unbelievably different from my natural hair colour (reddish brown) but what others perceive to be my natural hair colour (meanin they never perceived a difference at all, lol). I want Baratheon hair or Lorelai Gilmore hair but my dye jobs always lighten to the same reddish brown. To give you a better idea of what it looks like, David said my hair is a boy haircut no matter what I say about it. Debbi said I look like Peter Pan. Jeff (through Debbi) calls it my rebel haircut. I actually cut it so short because I thought it'd be easier. Imagine my sadness when I realized it actually takes me more time in the morning because I have to constantly wet it down so it doesn't stick up everywhere. It's very Harry Potter (if only I had his COLOUR!).
6. David started his own law firm and now he doesn't love me anymore. No, I'm just kidding. He's VERY excited about everything. I am, too. (Sometimes secondhandedly through his long & complicated stories about his work day and some arcane ((to me)) aspect of law.) 
7. I might be going crazy. I need a life coach or something. I want to do everything at once, like - f---. Where's that passage from? The Bell Jar.  
   
   

   "I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.  From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.  One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.  I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.  I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."